THE BACHELOR LIFE
Since my mother-in-law winters in Sarasota, Florida, my wife Sandy travels with her to Florida each fall. She helps get the Florida house ready, spends some time helping Essie (my mother-in-law), and then comes back to Plymouth.
I have been by myself here in the house for 10 days and have found some great truths about being a man and living by myself.
First I realized that Sandy always had coffee ready for me each morning and didn’t know how to run the coffee pot. I switched to tea, it just was easier to fix.
I realized that you only have to do dishes when you run out of something to put the food on.
I realized that you only have to make the bed when you can’t find the sheets.
I realized that the garage doesn’t have to be for cars, it can be a mechanic shop for boy toys like tractors and motorcycles (Have only two hours till she gets home and move out 3 motorcycles and 2 tractors)
I realize that Spam isn’t as bad as people say.
I realized that much food could be eaten right out of the can.
I realized that towels only need washed when you run out and they can be used more than once.
I realized USPS will deliver the mail if there is any space at all in the mailbox.
I realized that I have more clothes than I thought after looking harder rather than run the washing machine.
I realized that food still tastes good after the expiration date.
I realized that four hot dogs can be a complete meal.
I realized that popcorn is a great meal.
I realized that I don’t have to clean up until just before Sandy walks in the door
Well I have to go now. She just called me from the airport and is on her way home. Now how long does it take to drive from Indianapolis Airport to Plymouth. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she will stop on the way home to get something to eat.
I ALSO REALIZE THAT THIS OLD BIRD IS NOT CUT OUT TO BE A BACHELOR AND I REALLY MISS MY WIFE.
November 23, 2008 at 4:52 am
i’m sure you are doing your best in the two hours you have. i just hope it’s enough so you don’t have to eat out of the cans after she is home.
November 23, 2008 at 4:53 am
Pastor,
Hard to write a comment with tears of laughter running down my face! I sense a “you might be a bachelor if…” book in the works. Move over Jeff Foxworthy!
November 23, 2008 at 5:03 am
Hi Pastor Herb,
It is really amusing to see the gaps in your training. I don’t drink coffee but I can make it!! I’m glad to know that Sandy is on her way home. You really need a “keeper”!! I guess that is why Gary has me!!
Judi
November 23, 2008 at 5:12 am
LOL! I have a vivid visual in my mind of what the house looks like! Here’s some advice for the next hour…..First, cram a bunch of dirty clothes into the washer and start it immediately. Second, wipe off the bathroom sink and counter. Third, run the vacuum in the living room. And lastly, run through the house spraying Pledge. It will give the house the “just cleaned” smell
Quick, time is ticking!
November 24, 2008 at 7:15 am
I go through this every year when Marie goes to Joyce Meyer’s women’s conference. We call it “man weekend” (poor Lexi). I know exactly how you feel pastor! Especially on the last second cleanup. These weekends always remind me of how desperately I need and depend on my wife.
November 24, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I couldnt stop laughing when you read it to everyone in church. I like Amys reply on last hour clean up!
But on the serious level. If you ever need help pastor, let me know.
November 25, 2008 at 12:07 am
pastor i was touched when you read your post, yes it was funny but it was also clear how much you love your wife (we could hear it in your voice). i thank God that we have such an awesome example of marriage. i’m really proud to be one of your “kids”. btw, i missed sandy too!!!